Changing Table Davinci

Changing Table Davinci

Creating your Ideal Relationship With a List

Dear Jane,

My life coach told me to come up with a list of criteria for what I want in a relationship. What do you think of this idea?

I often suggest this to my clients. As I write in Enough Is Enough!, we are much more inclined to manifest something when we put our attention towards it. This also helps us discover and affirm the qualities that matter most to us. One of my clients (I’ll call her Jill.) created her list and guess what? A man who fits what Jill says “are the really important criteria” has come into her life. I love how honest, specific, humorous, and joyful her list is and asked her permission to share it with you. She and I both hope it inspires you to create lists of what you want in relationship as well as in work. Feel free to “borrow” from Jill’s list.

Jill’s Unedited Wish List for Her Ideal Mate

clean fingernails and toenails

well groomed

funny—a little Seinfeld, Stephen Wright, goofy, silly

smart knows what a haricot vert is, pronounces croissant properly

well read—can hang out in the bookstore with me and ask if I’ve read titles other than The DaVinci Code and rush to get me my copies of their favorites

has enough passion for music that they show physical movement

athletic but really, not just what they used to do can run a few miles without a chase ambulance, can ski the diamonds and actually make turns, understands the basic premise of wind and direction on a sailboat, gets soccer, can hit a tennis ball, cycles up a hill without more than the usual complaints

doesn’t need action/adventure movies

has at least one good friend that he’d bleed for

understands and suffers happily through single parenting and all that goes along with it

bilingual, and not in English and some ancient Star Trek Vulcan dialect

loves Moses

makes his bed in the morning

neat and well maintained home, and owns it

good driver, and I mean good confident, peppy

LOVES SEX AND WANTS TO DO IT ALL THE TIME FOR EVER AND EVER

along the same lines, a magical kiss and gets what making out is all about

loves travel not just for travel’s sake can blend with any culture

likes five star when appropriate

is polite and respectful to service people, and I don’t mean the military

has a passion for food and wine but no airs about it

can use the word sneakers and knows that tennis shoes are sneakers specifically for tennis

calls a bathing suit a bathing suit

loves the beach and the sand, even in places that are uncomfortable

can bodysurf waterskiing is good, but a little negotiable

isn’t afraid to fly

can swim laps with panache

has style, understands style, and doesn’t work hard at it

knows that tall and slim doesn’t need pleats in his pants

understands tailoring

owns a good watch

prefers good shoes

laughs easily

communicates respectfully

honest to the core

has a soul and shares it

isn’t afraid of physicians, and isn’t impressed by them

cares deeply for the planet

sees nature everyday

seeks out art

loves design of any kind

can actually talk about architecture

recliner isn’t in his vocabulary

is generous with love, money, time, energy, humor

can attempt a decent crossword puzzle

plays scrabble with more than 3 letter words

knows about power tools and can use them

uses a dry cleaner

does good laundry

has a gentle touch

curiosity, insatiable curiosity about everything

grace under pressure

good table manners

can feel pain and shows it

won’t try and cage me

respects my hard fought freedom

positive role model for my boys

celebrates me and my quirks

understands compromise and does so without guilt or pressure

kindness to animals, even bugs

seeks real intimacy emotional before physical

accepts his own vulnerability and trusts that I won’t take advantage of it EVER

loves me passionately and clearly and deeply and learns to love my children for who they are, not because they come with the package

understands that marriage is a commitment of the heart, not a legal binding agreement, and that the feelings are organic and grow and morph and change all the time

About the Author

Jane Straus is a trusted life coach, dynamic keynote speaker, and the author of Enough Is Enough! Stop Enduring and Start Living Your Extraordinary Life. With humor and grace, Jane offers her clients and seminar participants insights and exercises to ensure that the next chapter of their lives is about thriving as the unique individuals they have always been and the extraordinary ones they are still becoming. She serves clients worldwide and invites you to visit her site, StopEnduring.com. Here you will find excerpts from her book, more articles, TV and radio interviews, and clips from her presentations.
She is also the author of The Blue Book of Grammar and Punctuation, Grammarbook.com, an award-winning online resource and workbook with easy-to-understand rules, real-world examples, and fun quizzes.
Contact Jane at Jane@JaneStraus.com.

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